Cube Warfare
by discopolice
Summary: Last Order as the BOFH. Misaka clones working in IT and hating their lives.
1. Misaka's Everyday Life

Misaka 12294 would like to preface that she does not like working in IT, not a bit. This would not be Misaka's chosen job. Misaka would much rather write romance novels or be a kindergarten teacher, but as Misaka is still technically Academy City property, she does not get much choice in the matter, nor do any of the clones tied to the Network.

When the remaining 9968 Misakas were released from the experiment, Mister Crowley realized we were many drifting Misakas with no purpose. At first, he wanted Misaka to be military operatives, but onee-sama and her totally hot boyfriend put a quick stop to that idea. Then, he wanted Misaka to be garbage collectors, but he realized Academy City had robots for that. So Mister Crowley decided to put Misaka in one of the most dreadful positions of all. Misaka thinks this is a soul-sucking job that takes the brains of men and slowly turns them into a mush of dumb wonder that people can be so _stupid._ Misaka 16734 loves the job; this Misaka thinks she is out of her mind to think such an absurd thing.

Misaka thinks it is even worse when one's boss can read one's mind at will.

Misaka 20001 was chosen as the sysadmin for the Academy City networks because she has experience managing all Misakas, and Mister Crowley figured if you can manage 20 thousand Misakas at once, you can manage almost anything. Mister Crowley also tried to kill all Misakas to get Misaka 20001's totally not hot boyfriend to Level 6, so this Misaka does not think he is very reliable, but that is aside the point. Simply, 20001 is the boss. And she is absolutely insane.

This is Misaka's diary as she navigates this awful world, says Misaka as she sniffles quietly into her cubicle desk.


	2. The Accelerator Comes to Work

**2035.4.11 – The Accelerator Comes to Work**

"_FUCKING THUGS! CHRIST!"_ Misaka hears for the third time in a row as 20001's totally not hot boyfriend slams his cube telephone onto the receiver. Misaka is not sure why anyone thought it was a good idea to give this pimple-faced and terminally pissy teenager a phone and hook him up to the stupid masses in Academy City, but yet, he is here.

Somewhere along the line, Mister Crowley decided it would be a good idea for the Accelerator to "apologize" to all Misakas by helping Misaka with our workload twice a month. Misaka does not know how the Accelerator's behavior is in any way an apology, considering he rarely shows up to the office and steals Misaka's coffee from the break room every time he bothers to show his face. Mister Crowley says to be thankful for what we get. 20001 asks why we are being so mean to her boyfriend.

Misaka is also not sure how 20001's boyfriend is the Accelerator. Misaka was told during the experiments that the Accelerator is a fierce opponent who has slain countless Misakas without any concern for life or humanity, but to this Misaka, he looks like a pimple-faced teenager who lives off coffee and walks like a nursing home patient. Kamijou Touma is clearly a much better male specimen who deserves Misaka's attention through and through, on every part of him. Yum. I can feel onee-sama glaring daggers at me from two miles away.

What is worse is that 20001 is always sickly sweet when he is here. Any other time, she seems to get some sick pleasure out of either messing with our lives or completely ignoring us. Misaka cannot stand that 20001 is only human when he's around, since every other time she's the batshit insane admin who loves to torture us all.

Misaka 14534 shoots a foam missile at Misaka from the cube over; it bounces harmlessly off Misaka's head and lands on the floor. Attached is a little note:

_This __asshole__ has been stealing Misaka's specialty coffee and tea sandwiches! Does 12294 want to go fuck with him, requests Misaka 14534 as she pleads for help in her plotting?_

Misaka doesn't really care about 14534's special coffee or tea sandwiches, but it wouldn't hurt to get some revenge on the kid. _Hell yes,_ Misaka scribbles on a note and tosses it back over the cube wall; 14534 flashes a thumbs up, and no less than three minutes later, I see a report on my feed.

**PRIORITY: Urgent**

**Coffee missing from break room**

**FILED BY: Misaka 14534**

**STEPS TO REPRODUCE:**

**Go to break room**

**Open refrigerator**

**No coffee**

**SUGGESTED FIX: 20001 should tell Accelerator to stop drinking Misaka's coffee**

Nice. This isn't the way I imagined Misaka would get revenge, but this will get someone's attention.

**Accelerator:**

**Fuck you, I didn't steal shit.**

Or it'll just get his. Misaka sighs.

**Misaka 14534:**

**You are a liar, Misaka can confidently say. The Accelerator is the only one who would steal Misaka's tea sandwiches. The other Misakas all pack lunch.**

**Misaka 12294:**

**Bug reproduced. Accelerator told.**

**Accelerator:**

**Fuck your tea sandwiches. They were delicious.**

**Misaka 20001:**

**Accelerator…**

I hear 20001 screaming something about "_I TOLD YOU NOT TO STEAL PEOPLE'S COFFEE MISAKA IS ASHAMED OF YOU!_" The Accelerator is suddenly on the floor speaking some kind of gibberish. 20001 stomps off.

**MARKED: Fixed**

That is how the Accelerator was banned from the break room.


End file.
